Saturday 24 January 2015

Weekend NewsRant

Weekend NewsRantJan 24th 2014

#GeordieT'sNewsRant

RAT PLAGUE RAVAGES FALKLANDS
Giant evil rats have invaded the islands of 
South Georgia, part of the Falklands, decimating local bird
populations. Not native to this part of the world, it is
understood the huge, brown horrors emerged from an 


abandoned ship containing ex PM Thatcher’s statue in a crate of heavily contaminated soil that mysteriously ran aground on nearby rocks.


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BBC News Channel anchorwoman, Naga Munchetty announces
 her betrothal to mad inventor. 

After the ceremony she will be formally known as 



Naga Munchetty-Scrunchetty
- Boom! Boom!



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Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz has died. Still... 

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THE ARTS

The new culturally cuddly movie re-working of the musical Annie is still causing a stir at the box office - particularly the scene where the Little Blind Matchgirl is apprehended by the police and throttled to death for selling dodgy cigarettes




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